I recently had an awful day, and I froze.
That was when I decided I needed to gently (and forcefully at times) pull myself out of the upcoming potential rut. As a therapist, I’m sure a lot of people would look at me and think
“She’s so lucky, all the tools she needs are at her disposal”,
and maybe you even say
“HA. What does she know about bad days?”
Yes, I do have the knowledge and self-care tools.
But I know very well how bad days look and feel like… because having the tools doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days anymore.
Navigating these “bad days” is an essential skill for therapists to develop. If left unaddressed, emotional burnout can impair a therapist’s ability to provide effective care. Understanding how to manage difficult days is key not only for the therapist’s personal well-being but also for the well-being of my clients.
In this article, we will explore practical strategies and mindsets that helped me navigate the bad days and maintain my resilience, which I hope you get to steal some of these strategies too!
“Excellent practice with highly trained clinicians who truly care about their clients’ well-being. Highly recommend to anyone seeking psychotherapy!”
Rebecca Johnson, CA, USA
Instead of that, here are some tips on how to reframe your thoughts:
It has been proven through years of scientific research that the two forms of health relate closely with one another. In many people who are battling any form of sickness, deterioration of their mental health can be seen following.
“without mental health, there can be no true physical health”.
For instance, people dealing with type II diabetes mellitus are twice as likely to experience depression as the general population and those patients with diabetes who are depressed have greater difficulty with self-care. In the same sense, people dealing with mental illness are twice as likely to smoke cigarettes.
Up to 50% of cancer patients suffer from a mental illness, especially depression and anxiety and treating symptoms of depression in cancer patients may improve survival time.
Even void of chronic illnesses, we are all probably far too familiar with feeling lethargic or burned out; feelings that can make even the smallest of tasks seem daunting as a result. The way we feel physically impacts how we feel mentally and vice versa. This makes it vital to take care of our health both psychologically and physiologically.
Acknowledging Emotional Impact
Therapists often work with clients who are experiencing deep pain, trauma, or mental health struggles. It’s only natural that these stories can weigh on us, especially when we develop a strong emotional connection with our clients.
On bad days, the emotional residue from sessions may linger longer than usual. Recognizing these emotions are THERE without judgment is crucial.
Reflecting on the Source
Sometimes, a bad day is tied to a particular event— perhaps a difficult session with a client, a professional setback, or personal stressors creeping
into work life. Other times, the feeling of a bad day may not be attributable to anything specific.
The workload itself, the nature of the work, or cumulative emotional strain can create a sense of overwhelm.
By understanding where the emotions stem from, you can gain clarity on how to best address them.
I often tell clients to practice self-compassion, yet it can be difficult to apply that same approach to ourselves, especially on bad days. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend or loved one.
Hot tip: If you ever find yourself in this rabbit hole of self-criticism, ask yourself
“If a friend comes to me with the exact same story, what would I say to him/her?”
Acknowledging Your Limits
You may have moments of feeling inadequate, exhausted, or ineffective. On these days, remind yourself that you are human and that you cannot be everything to everyone. It’s important to acknowledge that having bad days is normal.
It does not reflect your competence or commitment as a person altogether.
If you have someone that you feel safe to share these worries, talk to them.
Talking really do help because when you say it out loud, sometimes we catch ourselves being ridiculously critical. Besides, it gets you out of that tunnel vision too!
Practicing Mindfulness
Mindfulness can be a powerful tool for self-compassion.
No it doesn’t limit itself to meditation only.
When I say mindfulness, it’s by staying present in the moment, in which you can avoid spiraling into feelings of guilt or frustration.
Therapists are often natural empathizers, driven by a desire to help others. However, this can lead to a tendency to overextend emotionally, which is a common contributor to burnout.
Whenever I feel like I am spiraling down with my clients, I ask “How are we different?”. This is to differentiate ourselves, and know that I am here to be their anchor.
Imagine your critical inner voice as the client, ask: “How are we different?” You will find that often times, we are not exactly the person that inner voice is describing.
Therapy for Therapists
It’s important to recognize that therapists, like everyone else, can benefit from therapy. Yes, you have a grand-therapist too! 😝
When bad days becomes a difficult period, seeing a therapist yourself can be an essential way to work through your own emotional challenges. I personally find that receiving therapy is not only helpful but also reinvigorates my passion for the work I do with others.
If you ever want to explore therapy as an option, feel free to email me for a free 15 minutes consultation!
Developing a Long-Term Strategy for Resilience
By regularly evaluating how you handle challenging days, you can develop proactive strategies to better manage your emotional and mental health.
I have a go-to quote for my clients:
“Learn to swim when you are not drowning”
Which means you got to learn how to take care of yourself on good days and normal days, because on bad days, you probably don’t have the capacity to start practicing self-care if you are unfamiliar with it.
Whether it’s engaging in more consistent self-care, seeking additional peer support, or rethinking your workload, learning from each bad day will help you grow and safeguard your well-being.
Bad days are inevitable, but how we handle them is what matters most.
By recognizing our emotions, practicing self-compassion, setting healthy boundaries, seeking support, and engaging in regular self-care, we can build the resilience needed to continue thriving while maintaining your own well-being.
I hope you find this helpful!
I also vlogged my bad day and walked you through how I navigated it. You may watch it here
